BREAKING: Secret Provision in Debt Deal Makes Ke$ha Secretary of Treasury

WASHINGTON (GB) - A firestorm of controversy has ignited as it was revealed that the debt ceiling plan agreed to by President Obama and Congressional Republicans includes a provision that replaces Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner with Ke$ha.



Economic experts said they were
unsure how Ke$ha would
address monetary policy

 The Dow Jones dropped 115 points on the news that Ke$ha could become the U.S. Treasury Secretary in the next few days, although shares in companies that make fishnet stockings, crotchless leather pants and glitter rose precipitously.

Nobody on Capitol Hill is taking credit for the provision, buried in page 567 of the bill. Unidentified staffers say the provision was added by a House Republican whose kids are "really into her music and wanted to see what they could get away with."

White House spokesman Jay Carney said that while the President was unaware of the provision, it would not stop him from signing the bill into law. "We all have to make tough decisions," Carney said. "And if replacing Secretary Geithner with Ke$ha is the price for avoiding default, so be it."

Outside interest groups are frantically calling on their supporters to tell Congress to oppose the deal. "We simply cannot allow Ke$ha to be put in charge of the country's finances," said Elmer Rootmeyer, president of Americans for America, which has put out an urgent appeal for its backers to flood Congress' phone lines in opposition to the plan.

However, a group of nearly 100 tweenage girls descended on the Treasury building in Washington to celebrate and show their support.

"Like, o my God I am so excited!" said 12-year old Mia Kerlamp from Cherry Hill, NJ. "This is, like, o my God, totally, o my God!"

Although spokespeople for the singer have not commented, Ke$ha did tweet from her "Get Sleazy" tour, "Reddy 2 shake up DC! Howz about Britney 4 the dollar bill????????"

Monetary experts were divided on the impact on the economy of having Ke$ha as Treasury Secretary. According to Todd Benkman of Goldman Sachs, "For us, the bottom line is, so long as we can continue making profit, we don't give a shit who is Treasury secretary."