2. Try a new sport, like windsurfing. Whether it's on the Great Lakes, off the Santa Monica pier, or New York's Hudson River (really!), what better time to hit the waves with a cool new hobby!
3. Withdraw all your money from your bank account, college funds and 401k; hide it under the mattress.
4. Take a vineyard tour. Napa Valley isn't the only place to sample the country's finest wines. Check out several great tours on Long Island and anywhere the cork beckons you!
5. Extract the gold fillings from your kids' teeth, melt them down and sell it. Stash any gold, silver or platinum still in the house in a deep hole in your backyard. Surround with booby traps.
6. Learn how to zipline! Zip your way through the trees like they do in Central America, seeing the world from a whole new vantage! If you're in the Chicagoland area, check these zippy zippers out!
7. Collect canned goods, water, shotguns and gas masks. Stock them in the saferoom in your basement. Find large pieces of furniture or concrete blocks to use as a barricade.
8. Go on a hike. There's no better way to enjoy nature, savor our country's beauty and get some exercise at the same time with a casual or more strenuous stroll through the woods.
9. Find your passport, haul ass to the airport and hire a plane to whisk you and your family beyond U.S. territory before the jobless mutant zombies pull you off and eat your flesh. Be prepared to take the plane's controls if the pilot turns on you. If the wife or kids hesitate about getting on the plane, leave them behind; you can always start a new life when you land. And never, never look back.
10. Pray. My God, pray!
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