WASHINGTON (GB) - Thursday's debt ceiling talks at the White House ended in disarray after House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) gave Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) a wedgie, sources say.
According to aides who were in the Cabinet Room at the time, Reid was huddling with Vice President Joe Biden and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) during a break when Cantor snuck up behind him. "Cantor put his hands into Reid's pants, grabbed a hold of the elastic band of his underpants, and yanked them straight up," a source said, "causing Reid to scream like a girl."
The source added that Cantor proceeded to run around the room, arms in the air, shouting, "Burn! I totally own you, old man!" He then reportedly jumped on the conference table, shook his backside at Reid, and sang, "Nancy and Harry, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
Aides to both sides say that Reid, a former professional boxer, took a swing at Cantor, but hit Biden in the mouth instead, causing Secret Service agents to tackle him to the ground.
At this point, President Obama is believed to have said, "F--k it. I need a smoke," and left the room to light up in the Rose Garden.
Biden was taken to George Washington University Hospital where doctors wired his jaw shut. A White House spokesman said the Vice President will not be able to speak for at least three weeks, a development that some Obama aides greeted with relief.
The acrimony continued outside the West Wing when the Congressional leaders approached the media.
"This is the most immature behavior I have ever seen," Reid said before the cameras.
"This is the most immature behavior I have ever seen," Cantor replied.
"Don't copy me!" Reid snapped.
"Don't copy me!" Cantor replied.
"Jackass," Reid said, marching off.
Boehner started to say something about how both parties needed to think about the children, but he broke down in sobs before he could finish. At that point, Pelosi said, "Will you please grow a pair, John?"
White House officials said the talks would resume on Friday. They added that steps will be taken to reduce the tension, mentioning the possibility of trust falls, a conversation ball, or having First Lady Michelle Obama lead the group in jumping jacks.
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